I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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