so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
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I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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