she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
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Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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