Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize