Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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