I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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