so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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