it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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