are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
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I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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