Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize