You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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