Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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