i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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