So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize