This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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