Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
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You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize