we have pet lesbian snakes
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize