Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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