I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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