I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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