I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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