just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize