The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I touched a dick in church today
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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