You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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