I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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