well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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