Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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