i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize