we made out on top of his cat.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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