I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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