its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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