I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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