I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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