May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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