i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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