i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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