I CAN MOONWALK!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize