READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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