We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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