$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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