I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize