exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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