just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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