Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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