I can tuck mytits in my pants
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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