I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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