wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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