I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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