Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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