Ambien. No doubt about it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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